Three simple words

What part of letting a person express their feelings and allowing them to grieve do people not understand? I understand it can be frustrating to watch me act/look depressed, but think about how much harder it is for me? You ask why it's taking me forever to 'get over' this? You ask why can't I just let go and walk away? You ask why can't I stop being sad and cheer up? You ask why must I hold and dwell on the past? You ask why do I act this way? Honestly, I say 'you ask', the truth is none of you 'ask' me anything, you just constantly bombard me with advice I'm not seeking, and attack me with commands I don't want.

You say you're listening, but ask yourself have you truly listened to the words I have said? Have you honestly allowed me to express my thoughts? As much as many of you will say 'yes, I have' the truth is none of you have. I don't want your sympathy, and I don't need to be counseled. Give up on trying to persuade me to change my mind because lets face it, I'm stubborn and the more you force me the more I will go against your will. It's annoying I know, but take your own advice and allow time to take its course and heal the many wounds. Most importantly really try to understand that 'time' here is used very loosely because I don't know when and I don't know how long it will take, but it will eventually come. Patience is what I ask from all of you.

I'm grieving. And for all those who haven't realized this, we all will experience this not just once but many times in our lives, and we all cope with it in different ways. Hence the stages of grief is in no specific order. Just because I'm sad today does not mean I won't find a solution tomorrow, or that today I have come to accept the facts means I won't feel anger. It seems dysfunctional, but trust me, it works and there is a clear balance. Whilst all of you may think I'm not moving on and have come to a stop, truth is I am still moving, maybe just not at the same pace as you are or as quickly as I was before, but I'm still going. Lets just break this down. I am sad, and I will not deny that because it's the truth. I have no shame nor do I feel embarrassed. I also agree that the sadness is derived from one particular source, however it is not limited to just that one source alone. In fact, the sadness that I am experiencing now is more related to other factors, primarily related to the misunderstanding from my own friends.

I am stubborn. I am an idealist. I am hopeful. I believe in love and I seek for love. I know I'm still young and have years to go, but age does not define and say I can't fall in love and have my heart broken. With that said, many of you will argue and ask well who am I to know what love or true love is? Rather than asking me who I am, why not ask yourself? Love has no true definition, it's infinite, because for each individual love will be defined and customized in a way that suits their needs and beliefs. For me, I believe love comes in all form, it comes in the most unexpected way, and that you never love two people the same way. I believe that love does not discriminate nor does it favor anyone, and when it comes, you just know. I believe love can bring out the best and worse in a person. I believe love can be and is unconditional, and it never blames. I believe love makes you stronger; however, that strength may not always be manifested. I believe with love, you never forget. I also believe with love, you never have to explain why.

Even though I have stumbled into despair, I refuse to come to my senses. Even though I have been deeply hurt, I cannot forget because the memories are too precious to let go. And even after I have wiped away the tears, and come to understand the situation, it does not mean everything will be fine. I love him. With all my heart, I love him. Those three simple words are the reasons and they are also the answers to why I am the way I am, and why I do the things I do.