"Absence sharpens love, presence strengthens it." Thomas Fuller

I believe this. Absence does make the heart grow fonder. No matter how hard I have tried to walk away, no matter how hard I have tried to let go, I still end up in the same spot where I had started. My heart incessantly cries out for your return, for your acknowledgment, but why is it that I am becoming more and more frighten? What is it that I fear? I'm afraid of our encounter, the one I have been yearning for, the one I pray for each night. I can already sense the awkwardness, and the emptiness. If that is what I have to face, I rather not have it happen.

How many times did we bring this up? How many times did you ask me "should we not hang out/see each other anymore", "should we not be friends"? And how many times did we go against our words? I still sit here in disbelief. I want you to ask me those questions again. I want us to still have those disagreements, those silent moments where we just blankly stare at each other pondering what it is we should do.

I want your comfort and your support. I want to feel and see the tenderness and warmth from your eyes. I want to hear you say everything is going to be okay. I want you to continue to be the sun that brightens up my gloomy days.

I hate knowing all those promises we once made will never come true.